yeahhh..thats lame.

i only got 9 comments. haha

i have a ton of qoutes so i'll update every so often but im pretty much done with xanga. gone on to myspace.

but now myspace is kind of dying and its moving on to facebook...

lol anyways. yeah so comments subscribers. thatd be great thanks.

she's the kind of girl who you forget about
as soon as you meet. she is the b-side
to your favorite cassette tape ;; the crust on the bread.
every face you've ever forgotten.
she is the verse to that song on the radio
the one you have to hum along with
because you cant remember the words.
yeah, she's that forgettable.
but broken hearts & backstabbing drama
couldnt touch this girl.
she's so far beyond that.

i hate the way you can
push me to the limits with
the things you do & then
you know just the right time to
say something sweet to make
me fall for you all over again..

you wanna know something?
i still love you after all this time
you broke my heart, left me
hurt & alone, & made me live my
life without my best friend.
no matter how hard i try, my heart
will never heal the same. you'll
always have that one piece missing
that i'll be searching for forever

& nothing's worse than the feeling i
get when i see you with her.

"remember how in kindergarten
you'd meet a kid, walk up to him
know nothing about him, then in
10 minutes, playing like you were
best friends.. because you didnt have
to be anything other than yourself?
thats how i feel when im with you"
- High School Musical

"i'm sorry for the person i became. i'm sorry that it took so long for me to change. i'm ready to try and never become that way again. 'cause who i am hates who i've been."—relient k

"Look, my point is is that I don't think that everybody meets the love of their life when they're a teenager. Or when they're 25. Or even when they're 35. But that doesn't mean that you stop looking & hoping. You know, cus you will meet that person, & when you do, I guess you know it."
- Dawson's Creek

"& then theres love. I want you to love to the tips of your fingers & when you find that love, wherever you find it, whoever you choose, don't run away from it. But you don't have to chase it either. You just be patient & it will come to you, I promise & when you least expect it, like you, like spending the best year of my life with the sweetest & smartest & the most beautiful baby in the world. You don't be afraid sweetheart & remeber to love is to live"
--Dawson's Creek

I've been trying not to love you, I've been putting up a fight. I've been barely holding on, & letting go with all my might. There's a part of me that's empty, I know only love can fill. I'm afraid I'll never fill it, & scared to death I will

As I lay in bed at night, all I can think about is you. Touching you, holding you, kissing you. Tears roll down my cheeks as I remember what we had. You were my first love, first kiss, first anything. What we had was something special. Nothing will ever change that. Now that you're gone, all I can do is lay in bed at night with tears rolling down my cheeks & remember.

I don't hate you for loving her nor do I hate her for receiving the love
I once had but I do hate you for pretending to never actually give a shit about me..

I know as long as you're happy I can get through this.
But it still kills me to see you with her..not cus she is
perfect for you, not cus she makes you smile, not cus she
is what you need, but cus I know that she deserves you
more than I do, & that pain is indescribable

I'm mad at myself, not at you. I'm mad for always being nice, always apologizing for things I didn't do, for getting attached, for making you my life, depending on you, wasting my time on you, thinking about you, following you, changing for you, forgiving you, wishing for you, dreaming of you, & most of all for not hating you, which I know I should but I can’t

How can you love someone so much who in my eyes is so incredibility wrong for you?

have you ever felt so sure & certain about something that you wake up every morning thinking today is the day its gonna happen; then all of the sudden, your hopes, your dreams, your wants, your desires, are taken away in a moment of needless uncertainty & confusion, & your left there, wondering what happened, & why you're alone

If he likes me so much & cares about me so much,
you'd think that he'd make a little time to fit me in to his life

"before I could realize what was happening, it was over " -Dawson’s Creek

"It's funny how you still love the person but you just stop
needing them like you used to. "- Dawson's Creek

"But as human beings, sometimes it's better to stay in the dark,
cus in the dark there may be fear, but there's also hope.."
-Grey's Anatomy

You never really know how lucky you are to have someone
until they're gone & you are left with nothing but memories.

We tell each other everything.
secrets.stories.jokes.
but i dont tell him that i love him
& that it hurts when he tells me that he loves her.

maybe it's the way you grab my hand & hold it, or the way you kiss me, or maybe it's the way your put your arms around me, maybe it's the way you look at me & your smile just makes me melt, maybe it's the way we can talk on the phone for hours about absolutely nothing at all but still, i fee like i had the best conversation of my life, maybe it's the way that i want to break down & cry when i think about how you hold me up on a pedestal, maybe that's it..that's what makes me want you so bad..

I need to tell you something that will either make us or break us, but i can't live with wondering how things could be without telling you & even though i know that whatever time we have left is little & i know that there's someone else.. for some reason, all the reasons that should be keeping me from saying this just doesn't matter to me. But i have to tell you before i completely lose myself even more with you. I..i love you. But not the way that i want to spend the rest of my life with you. It's more of I don't know what i'd do without you.

I hope he reads this
maybe then he'll know
why I'm still in love with him
why I just can't let it go

 "[ * E v e r y t i m e - W e - T o u c h * ]
I get this feeling* & everytime we kiss I swear I
could fly. Can' t you feel my heart beat f a s t , I
want this to last. I need you by my side. Cus
[ * E v e r y t i m e - W e - T o u c h * ]
I feel the static & Everytime we kiss, I reach for
the sky. Can`t you hear my heart beat slow..
I can't . let you go . I want y o u in my life. "
- Cascada ; Everytime We Touch

"feel like I lost everything when you're gone
Left remembering what it's like to have you here with me
I thought you should know,
You're not making this easy"
- Matchbook Romance ; Promise

& its hard to look at you, cus when you look at me I can only imagine that your picturing some girl who just can't let go. But not so long ago, a boy walked into the room. & at the first glance I took, I knew that somehow this boy would change my life forever. & I didn't know how, & I didn't know why, but all I knew was that something was bound to happen. & then, something did. & I knew, & he knew, at that very moment, that things would never be the same. Cus we had both brought out a side to each other that no one has ever seen before. & here I am, almost a year later, & I'm still remembering the day when that boy first walked through the door, & oh, how he's changed me.

I can't stand him hurting me, i can't stand him using me. But unlike him, I can't just walk away. I can't forget what we had, it's not that easy for me to let go of something that was once my life. I guess..it mattered to me.

I always thought being with you would be the answer
to my prayers, but now my prayers are asking God just
for us to be friends again..

I don't think people are meant to be by themselves.
That's why if you actually find someone you care about,
it's important to let go of the little things, even if you can't
let go all the way. Cus nothing sucks more than feeling all
alone, no matter how many people are around

i guess the weirdest part is when you hear a song on the radio or something & it reminds you of them. & then the next song after that. & then even the next song after that. & no one else understands what it means to you except yourself, & you want to tell them but you can't cus you've already said your goodbyes..& you can't go back on them now. & it takes all the courage you have not to call them up & just play the song & hang up. & just to hear their voice one last time

I forgot what it was like to cry.
I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy.
I forgot that you can't just forget the past in fear of the future.
I forgot that you can't control falling in love & that you can't make yourself fall in love.
I learned that I can love.
I learned that sometimes the things you want most you just can't have.

When I see you two together, my heart breaks in half.
Not cus I hate her, & not cus she doesn't deserve you.
It's not cus I still love you. It's cus I always told you that
you deserve the best, & now I'm afraid that you've found it.

oh wow. its been so so long.

WHO WANTS ME TO UPDATE?

here we go...

"then what happened? how did I go from turning
the corner of possibility to being nothing at all?"
-- Dawson's Creek 

Life with you was perfect
then you found that other girl
now you act like your life is perfect
when i look at you with jealousy

i cant believe it lasted so long
all that time wasted
what makes me mad is..
the fact you cant even look me in the face

I hate the way you make me smile, the way even if its the worst day of my life, i look at you & it takes everything away, i hate how you say the stupidest things but i still fall in love with every word you say, i hate the way you dress, the way you act around your friends, the things you say to me, the way you treat me, i hate how beautiful you are. The thing i hate most of all is me, i hate me for loving you

knowing you dont love me only makes me love you more

"But you always find a way to keep me right here waiting
You always find the words to say to keep me right here waiting
& if you chose to walk away I'd still be right here waiting
Searching for the things to say to keep you right here waiting"
--Staind,Right Here

i've gone through this before..& thats why i dont get why this is so hard for me to deal with..
its the simple fact that he just doesnt want me like i want him, i guess, maybe, its so hard
cus for a while there..he made me feel like he did..maybe thats the difference

After a while, the jokes aren't funny anymore.
There's nothing left to smile about. Everyone
begins to look the same. Lovers lose their
passion. Friends become enemies. &
The life we once knew is gone.

I can see it now. Five minutes pass. Ten minutes now.
He still hasn`t called. I know it`ll ruin my night, and
possibly even my tomorrow. It`s this vicious cycle I go
through every day. I`ll stare at my phone; just stare at
it, hoping that it`ll ring. Hoping that something good will
happen. But we both know I`m wrong. Nothing good
can happen.. at least not now..

even though i remind myself that we'll
most likely never be together, i just
can't let myself fall for anyone else

183 subscribers

yeah...keep it up. sorry i havent been updating.....not really into xanga that much anymore...

thanks for the comment...

okay, if you subscribe, please comment, because i will update more if i get more comments and subscribers, i promise

i dont know when the next time i'll update is because im moving on friday, and i dont know if i'll have internet for a while, lol.

new song...concrete angel by martina mcbride

i want to change this layout..but im too lazy, so deal, lol

okay...50 qoutes anyone?

Pain comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain, the normal pains we live with everyday. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else..makes the rest of the world fade away, until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. Pain, we anestitize, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it. & for some of us the best way to manage pain is to just push through it
--Grey's Anatomy

Somewhere out there i know someones watching over me..
someone out there loves me & someone out there wants me..
just wish i knew who that someone was

You can show up at my house, completely unannounced.
We'll have that movie kiss we talked about.

So turn up the corners of your lips, part them & feel my finger tips trace the moment,
fall forever. Defense is paper thin, just one touch & I'd be in too deep now to
ever swim against the current..so let me slip away
--Dashboard Confessional ; Vindicated

it hurts knowing he wont remember
every little thing that i know i will never forget

have you ever wanted to ask a question
but you didn't cus you knew your heart
wouldn't be able to handle the answer?

& now i have to stop.
cus every time I remember this,
I have to cry a little by myself..
I don't know why something
that made me so happy then, feels so sad now.

Too often we don't realize what we have until it's gone
too often we wait too late to say 'i'm sorry..i was wrong'
sometimes it seems we hurt the ones who are closest to our heart
& allow foolish things to tear our lives apart..

I'll hide my broken heart underneath this laughing face
& though you think I never cared, no one will ever take your place.

Sometimes i wish i could just be a little kid again, so when life gets tough you can just play pretend..I wanna go back to when santa did exist..when your daddy was the only boy you ever kissed..When disney world was the best place to be..When the only movies you could see were rated G..When your biggest problem was learning to write your name..& people didnt change..& your friends were the same..& everytime you were sad or you had a bad day you could just run to mommy & it would all be okay..I wanna go back to no hurt..& no pain..just laughter..when everyone always lives happily every after

it's so cute to see someone with a
relationship holding hands, flirting, just
being in love. & even though it might be something
you don't have, it's something that
one day you will find.

show you no emotion- don't let you
see what you do to me. i imagine the
two of us together, but i ain't been livin'
in reality. i don't care if you think i'm
crazy; it doesn't matter if it turns out bad.
i have no fear of losing you- [ you can't
lose what you never had ].

it's amazing. some people.. they just say these small things. one sentence, & it changes the way you feel about them in an instant. small words that can hurt you so much or make you fall deeply in love forever. it changes everything, & nothing between you two is ever really the same again. even if they don't know, it still happens

i could go on&on about how much of a jerk
you are &how i hate you.. but at the end of the day
when my head hit's the pilliow &i'm saying my
prayers, you can bet your last dime that i'll still
thank God that you're in my life

 you know what? Tragedies happen. What are you gonna do?
Give up? Quit? No. I realize now that when your heart breaks,
you gotta fight like hell to make sure you're still alive.
Because you are..& that pain you feel, it's life.

The confusion & fear, that's there to remind you that somewhere
out there is something better..& that something is worth fighting for.
-- One Tree Hill

Sometimes all you can do is smile & move on with the day,
hold back the tears, & pretend your okay

I'm trying to forget that I'm addicted to you But I want it & I need it I'm addicted to you
Now it's over can't forget what you said & I never wanna do this again

Nothing is forever, forever is a lie,
all we have is the time from hello to goodbye
you do what you gotta do, know what you know,
hang on until you can't anymore, & then learn to let go

You know what the worst feeling in the world is?
When someone you have been crushing on forever,
when someone you love with all your heart,
when someone gives you butterflies when he walks by,
when someone you dream about everyday,
& someone you would give absolutley anything to..
feels the same way ; just not about you

I mean, look I don't know if anything is going to happen with us, again.
Ever. But I don't want to know that it..it never could.
--FRIENDS ; Ross

If you're always looking for reasons not to be with somebody,
then you'll always find them. Sometimes you just need to let go
& give your heart what it deserves --One Tree Hill

Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words & really start talking, the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need.
--Grey's Anatomy

I love how our personalities match
How we were friends first
How we can talk for hours about everything
How we can sit in silence comfortably
How we can be ourselves 100%
How we don't need to be together every second
But I also love
That when we get the chance
There is no attraction stronger than
That invisible force
That pulls your lips to mine
& neither of us can resist

I want to cry, really I do. But I guess I just don't want to give you
the satisfaction of knowing that you hurt me..once again.
--Allison Mosher

of all the things you have taught me there are still two things I don’t know.
I don't know how to fall out of love with you &I don’t know how to let go

When I see you together, my heart breaks in half and it's not because of her, she's amazing and not because she doesn't deserve you and it's not because I still fall for you... It's because I always told you that you deserve the best, and now I'm afraid you found it.

when you say i`m beautiful, i say "yeah right" but what i`m really saying is "do you really think so?" * when you say good job, i say "thanks" but what i`m really saying is "i love that you notice" * when you say we`ll be together forever, i say "i hope so" but what i`m really saying is "i hope forever never ends" * when you say i love you, i say "i love you too" but what i`m really saying is "never stop saying that" * when you say i don`t care, i say "yes i do" but what i`m really saying is "i care for you more than you`ll ever know." *

I'm not that good of a person. I make imistakes. I have regrets. I act like I'm a lot smarter than I actually am. I cry. I laugh way too loud && things just seem to get to me. Bascially I'm saying I'm not perfect, but when I'm with you, it doesn't matter because you make me smile

When a girl is quiet, millions of things are running through her mind.

When a girl looks down, it means she is uncomfortable.

When a girl is not arguing, she is thinking deeply.

When a girl looks at you with eyes full of questions, she is wondering how long you'll be around.

When a girl answers "I'm fine" after a few seconds, she is not at all fine.

When a girl stares at you, she is wondering why you are lying.

When a girl lays on your chest, she is wishing that you'll be hers forever.

When a girl calls you everyday, she is seeking for attention from you.

When a girl wants to see you everyday, she wants to be pampered.

When a girl says "I love you", she means it.

When a girl says that she can't live without you, she has made up her mind that you are

her future.

When a girl says "I miss you", no one in the world could miss you more than that.

Did you ever wonder how a single somebody
could actually be your *[ everything ]*
& how they could change your life so fast?

Keep it inside the image portrayed
As if I couldn't stand losing as if I couldn't be saved, no way
A small confession I think I'm starting to lose it
I think I'm drifting away from the people » I really need
A small reflection on, w h e n   w e   w e r e   y o u n g e r
We had it all figured cus we had everything covered
Now we're older it's getting harder to see
What this future will hold for us, what the fuck are we going to be?
If you never take a chance..you never really have one

Life. Hope. Truth. Trust. Faith. Pride. Love. Lust.
Pain. Hate. Lies. Guilt. Laugh. Cry. Live. Die.

What if Prince Charming had never shown up? Would Snow White have slept in that glass coffin forever? Or would she have eventually woke up, spit out the apple, gotten a job, a health-care package & a baby from her local neighborhood sperm bank? I couldn't help but wonder..Inside every confident, driven, single woman, is there a delicate, fragile princess just waiting to be saved?
--Sex & the City

Did you ever have the feeling that you wanted to go,
& still have the feeling that you wanted to stay?

I opened my heart to you. I can't just stand around
like a fool, waiting for you to be ready.
--Boy Meets World

You can't go back, only remember,
Remembering how you used to be,
How your relationship used to be,
How you felt before you had to say good-bye,
How the things you both said replay in your mind..

it's hard enough when the one you love
doesn't love you back..but it is even harder
to watch him love someone else.

There's somthing about you..i dont know what it is..this little charm that you pull..you just suck me in..& i thought it was cute the way you told me you were sorry for everything..but i cant like you..i want you..but i dont know how..i am afraid i'll loose you once again..& i just want you to know that i might like you..i just want to know if you could ever like me to?

& I just want to know what's going on between you & her,
cus I'm preparing my heart to be broken, &
getting ready to move on but I just need to know..do I have to?

i tried to move on. i really did. i tried to tell myself
that you don't want me & i can't have you anymore.
i tried so hard. but how can you let go of the only
person that makes you happy? the only person who
makes you feel alive? the only reason you're still here?
you just can't let go of someone like that.

it's pathetic how much you used
to mean to me. how much i adored
you. how you were pretty much
my entire f_cking world.

behind every "i`m fine" is
a mind full of confusion,
trying to find a way out.

i expected too much from you. sorry
i showed you how i felt. sorry for
ever starting it at all..

&& whenever they see you, they tap me and
say, "THERE HE iS." & i`ve gotten to the point
where i wish they wouldn`t. it only makes it
harder to let go when i have to see everything
i FELL iN LOVE WiTH.

the truth is;;hes too amazing
t o   i g n o r e

everyone watches her in jealousy. the way she gets the best grades, has perfect hair, & the nicest clothes to wear. she wears a smile played by a skilled actress. they stare in awe & wonder "who could ever be so perfect?" the truth is, she does it so he could see her at her best, but it turns out, he doesn't even care

how can i sit here & trust every single person that wallks into my life just as well as the others,
how can i hurt myself so much just so i dont hurt others,
how can i be so nieve to the point where i'll believe anything & everything that people say,
how can i give people the benifit of the doubt & always get let down..

TRUE L0VE
Tell me i'm amzaing & why..tickle me even if i say stop, you know i love it. hold my hand. tell me i'm beautiful. tell me i'm the most amazing girl you know. tell me stupid jokes, whatever it takes to make me laugh. let me wear your clothes. do things that make me smile. when i start yelling at you kiss me. kiss my forehead. kiss me in the rain. let me fall asleep in your arms. push me on swings & give me piggy back rides. call me. stay up with me all night on the phone. leave me unexpected notes saying how much i mean to you, & then we pinky promise that we'll be together forever, & i'm holding you to it.

be optimistic. all the people you hate now are eventually going to die
--Tom Green

haha, i love that one

yeah..i better get a lot of comments and subs for this, lol

160 SUBSCRIBERS!

yayy....im happy, thats pretty sweet but more would be nice...

sorry i havent updated for awhile...

30 qoutes now...

So as I sit I can hear you two talk

I can hear it in your voice, your feelings for her

I can hear the shyness, the excitement, the love

& its unbelievable how much it tears me up inside

because I can remember that was exactly the way you used to talk to me & now its gone, we never talk anymore…

We promised ourselves that we would stay close forever

But now I remember, you don’t keep promises

Its terrible how we never talk anymore, and I feel like im losing you

I don’t even know why I still want to talk to you, after all you did

I think that its safe to say I don’t want you back anymore, I don’t need you

But I don’t know why it hurts so much to not talk to you

I never realized how much I needed you, not until you told me you loved her

So as I sit at the computer, perfectly content

I watch the screen as you sign on

I glance at your name from time to time, as though that will make you talk to me

I go away, and return a couple times, hoping that will get your attention

But it doesn’t….so I watch the screen as you sign off

Never saying a word…

128 subscribers!!!

that is really good....

new song: everything you want by vertical horizon

rememeber..if you subscribe, then please comment!

and if you comment,  then dont forget to subscribe!

that would be amazing, and i would update a lot more and post more qoutes!

okay..thanks guys!

30 qoutes....

you & i are so close, we will always be best friends
but i just want a chance, to be with you & hold you
i know this can work out, between you & me
lets give it a try & lets just see

he means so much
i have strong feelings for him
but he asked her ; my best friend
to hang out & she said yes
i feel so hurt & sad inside
do they both know how i truly feel?

i can't help it anymore
i fell for you ; i fell in love with our friendship.
you & i are best friends but i just want one chance
to be with you & if things just don't work out then
best friends forever we will always be

we may have broken up, but i still love you & miss you
my friends don't understand , what i see in you
but they just need to get  that you & i are meant to be